Alright folks, get this... this g-ma in prison right now under suspicion of murder. (Click here to see the whole story) I don't know about you... but when I look at this:
------------------------------------^ First picture... I think aw, bless her poor heart. She lost all of those men she loved...
YEAH! BUT THEN...
I look at this next picture right next to it and something just screams
"HAHAHAHA! I got away five times with murder, you IDIOTS!"
I'm not really sure where I would get an idea like that... I don't know. I'm usually just got with investigations. When I was younger, I would always follow along with the Olsen Twins solving detective crimes. Since then I've always known I had a knack for solving important investigations.
Hmm... Although, it could have something to do with the fact that there is a bubble over Granny-B's head saying something somewhat incriminating.
But, I didn't put that there.. I SWEAR IT!
Hmm... Although, it could have something to do with the fact that there is a bubble over Granny-B's head saying something somewhat incriminating.
But, I didn't put that there.. I SWEAR IT!
But I put together a little chart... let's take a looks at da facts here:
Alright. I got this. I got this all figured out. Do you notice how after every murder the years that she waits to remarry slowly increases. Now, I know what you're thinking.... this COULD be 
because as she got older, she became uglier and therefore it became harder to find a willing candidate. And I do appreciate you trying to solve the mystery. That's what I would think Iif I hadn't gone through the rigorous detective courses the Olsen's Twins put me through. (I have a certificate to prove it.) Only that is not it!
Because guess what? I know it! I know what it is!!!! Let's take a closer gander....
1952 her first husband dies... [because she killed him]
She must have realized how easy getting away with killing your husband is so she quickly remarried and TWO years after she brutally murdered her 1st LOVE she kills the 2nd.
Now, she takes a bit more of a break here thinking maybe somebody will catch on, but nobody does. Eleven years later in 1965 (the same year The Beatles are appointed Members of the Order of the British Empire... Or members of the Order of the Phoenix... whichever you prefer) she kills her 3rd husband.
CLEARLY, somebody might suspect the old hag who has "mysteriously" had all three husbands shot to death. But nobody does. Clearly, she laughs. She then waits a bit in her black widows den, as to not arouse suspicion. Twenty-one years later, her 4th hubby DIES the same year the TV
show's Alf, Oprah Winfrey and Little Pee Wee's Playhouse premier.
The jig is up. She knows she has gotten away with 4 murders. But still nobody has come or accused. Clearly, she will kill again. She has become addicted... and black widows never turn into kitties! They-keep-a-killin'! So she does! But waits longer this time (possibly because she's uglier and it's
harder to find a willing specimen or she's just being careful... I, however, vote the latter.)
ANOTHER 21 years go by and she kills again! HER FIFTH HUSBAND! HELLO PEOPLE! SOMETHING IS WRRRRONNNNG! Finally somebody does something about it and this old fart is thrown in the slapper.
because as she got older, she became uglier and therefore it became harder to find a willing candidate. And I do appreciate you trying to solve the mystery. That's what I would think Iif I hadn't gone through the rigorous detective courses the Olsen's Twins put me through. (I have a certificate to prove it.) Only that is not it!Because guess what? I know it! I know what it is!!!! Let's take a closer gander....
1952 her first husband dies... [because she killed him]
She must have realized how easy getting away with killing your husband is so she quickly remarried and TWO years after she brutally murdered her 1st LOVE she kills the 2nd.
Now, she takes a bit more of a break here thinking maybe somebody will catch on, but nobody does. Eleven years later in 1965 (the same year The Beatles are appointed Members of the Order of the British Empire... Or members of the Order of the Phoenix... whichever you prefer) she kills her 3rd husband.CLEARLY, somebody might suspect the old hag who has "mysteriously" had all three husbands shot to death. But nobody does. Clearly, she laughs. She then waits a bit in her black widows den, as to not arouse suspicion. Twenty-one years later, her 4th hubby DIES the same year the TV
show's Alf, Oprah Winfrey and Little Pee Wee's Playhouse premier.The jig is up. She knows she has gotten away with 4 murders. But still nobody has come or accused. Clearly, she will kill again. She has become addicted... and black widows never turn into kitties! They-keep-a-killin'! So she does! But waits longer this time (possibly because she's uglier and it's
harder to find a willing specimen or she's just being careful... I, however, vote the latter.)ANOTHER 21 years go by and she kills again! HER FIFTH HUSBAND! HELLO PEOPLE! SOMETHING IS WRRRRONNNNG! Finally somebody does something about it and this old fart is thrown in the slapper.
Written By: Candy Anderson
BASED ON A TRUE STORY TOLD IN MY OWN WORDS
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Alright guys, so this is the first time I took something from the news and told it to you in my own way, let me know how you think. Boring, lame, trying too hard, keep'm comin'.... how did you like that article? Let me know so I know what you like to read!
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5 comments:
Brilliant! Your detective skills seem to be just as sharp as you claim. You should probably think about majoring in private investigation... I hear it pays pretty well.
candy dearest i just found a black widow in my room yesterday and totally freaked out. your post today has not helped my fear at all except for the fact that i can now imagine an old lady head on top of the spider. thank you for that... also, i bought molasses yesterday and thought of you. Good ole times at raintree. Remember when we first knocked on your door and you showed us around, remember when Katie Jew couldn't ever smell, remember when we always had creamies, remember when everyone studied at our apartment and you hated that, remember all the mad parties you threw, remember those nasty bathrooms we had to live in and how they never passed the cleaning checks, remember when you helped katie and me produce our greatest cheerleading video ever,remember when you were deaf and always had the tv up so high and we always had to bang on the wall, i could go on but i wont. i just remember a lot of fun things about raintree. hope all is well! congrats on the marathon, im so proud of you!
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
sum i love you forever.
Beautiful Post. I loved it!!!
That was a wonderful/tragic story. I love your pictures!
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