Online dating

Alright everyone. I have totally taking my blogging to a whole new level. I am now relying on you, my readers to determine my destiny. My fate is in the palm of your hands!

One of my last blogs entitled, "Not so boring blog" I asked you, my readers for suggestions of strapping young men I could date. Seeing as nobody filled out any applications (probably due to the rigorous requirements) I took it upon myself! I officially signed up for online dating.

Now, before you laugh, I want you to know that I am completely leaving to whom I accept a date from up to you.

Please take a gander at the following men, all of whom have contacted me and wish to take me on a date. Then, proceed to the upper most left hand corner of this blog and please submit your vote.

THIS IS NOT FAKE AND I HEAR-BY PROMISE ALL OF MY READERS I WILL FOLLOW THROUGH AND GO ON THE DATE OF THEIR CHOOSING!

I promise that I will be a blogger of my word and follow through. In ten days, after the votes are cast and counted, I will let you know who the winner is, contact them and see if they are still interested... and go on a date. Then, I will take pictures on the date and let you know how to it goes. Please choose wisely.... Thank you!

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"thoughtsmith"
# 1

A clip from Thoughtsmith's profile:

What is your least favorite thing to do?

"Being sick? umm i'm not really a negative nancy.... not alot i don't like... BURNING! i hate being on fire! well that is if it hurts or is causing damage if it isn't then it might actually be kinda cool! Umm... Drowning! definitely i don't like drowning!"

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"I_nephi_1"
# 2

Age: 37

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"ZRB1234"

# 3

A clip from zrb1234's profile:

"Well for starters I have mastered the skill of walking upright on two legs (most animals cant do that you know). It took me a while but I have also developed an opposable thumb, if you like I will show it to you sometime."

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"What It Do"
# 4

A clip from "What it do's" profile:

You wont get me from reading this, But if you must have something then ill say i LOVE LOVE LOVE my nieces and nephews. Im way excited to have a Family of my own, but until then Im learning that single life has it perks to! I pretty much get along with everyone and love being surrounded with friends.

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"eaglebound"
# 5

A clip from eaglebound's profile:

Basic Information
Gender: Male
Location: Provo, UT, USA
Age: 22

About me:
Height: 5'5' (165 cm)
Build: Washboard

Black Widow Betty

Alright folks, get this... this g-ma in prison right now under suspicion of murder. (Click here to see the whole story) I don't know about you... but when I look at this:

------------------------------------^ First picture... I think aw, bless her poor heart. She lost all of those men she loved...

YEAH! BUT THEN...

I look at this next picture right next to it and something just screams

"HAHAHAHA! I got away five times with murder, you IDIOTS!"

I'm not really sure where I would get an idea like that... I don't know. I'm usually just got with investigations. When I was younger, I would always follow along with the Olsen Twins solving detective crimes. Since then I've always known I had a knack for solving important investigations.

Hmm... Although, it could have something to do with the fact that there is a bubble over Granny-B's head saying something somewhat incriminating.
But, I didn't put that there.. I SWEAR IT!

But I put together a little chart... let's take a looks at da facts here:

Alright. I got this. I got this all figured out. Do you notice how after every murder the years that she waits to remarry slowly increases. Now, I know what you're thinking.... this COULD be because as she got older, she became uglier and therefore it became harder to find a willing candidate. And I do appreciate you trying to solve the mystery. That's what I would think Iif I hadn't gone through the rigorous detective courses the Olsen's Twins put me through. (I have a certificate to prove it.) Only that is not it!

Because guess what? I know it! I know what it is!!!! Let's take a closer gander....

1952 her first husband dies... [because she killed him]

She must have realized how easy getting away with killing your husband is so she quickly remarried and TWO years after she brutally murdered her 1st LOVE she kills the 2nd.

Now, she takes a bit more of a break here thinking maybe somebody will catch on, but nobody does. Eleven years later in 1965 (the same year The Beatles are appointed Members of the Order of the British Empire... Or members of the Order of the Phoenix... whichever you prefer) she kills her 3rd husband.

CLEARLY, somebody might suspect the old hag who has "mysteriously" had all three husbands shot to death. But nobody does. Clearly, she laughs. She then waits a bit in her black widows den, as to not arouse suspicion. Twenty-one years later, her 4th hubby DIES the same year the TV show's Alf, Oprah Winfrey and Little Pee Wee's Playhouse premier.

The jig is up. She knows she has gotten away with 4 murders. But still nobody has come or accused. Clearly, she will kill again. She has become addicted... and black widows never turn into kitties! They-keep-a-killin'! So she does! But waits longer this time (possibly because she's uglier and it's harder to find a willing specimen or she's just being careful... I, however, vote the latter.)

ANOTHER 21 years go by and she kills again! HER FIFTH HUSBAND! HELLO PEOPLE! SOMETHING IS WRRRRONNNNG! Finally somebody does something about it and this old fart is thrown in the slapper.

Written By: Candy Anderson

BASED ON A TRUE STORY TOLD IN MY OWN WORDS

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Alright guys, so this is the first time I took something from the news and told it to you in my own way, let me know how you think. Boring, lame, trying too hard, keep'm comin'.... how did you like that article? Let me know so I know what you like to read!

Click picture to leave a comment

The not-so-boring BLOG

So I just read my cousin, Jacob's blog and I realized my blog is dull - boring, WAHH WAHHH.

** thumbs down **

As much as I know you all love me, I know you don't really want to hear about my Ward and my Marathon antics... or at least not all of the time. Reading my cousin Jacob and Kirsten's blog I realized how W I T T Y our family is. Really, and truly.


I hereby proclaim that this blog shall no longer be boring. And if I get a boyfriend or a Fiance (HA!) like my best friend Lauren Groseclose (also known as Summey) my blog will not be forgotten.

With that note made, if any of you have any good, young, (1) strapping young men that would be okay with my fun, spontaneous, quirky personality and don't mind the occasional game of Halo here and there, please fill out an application. Or, simply leave a comment... or even better... set me up!!!!!!!!

***Notes***
(1) Definition of strapping:

A.

powerfully built; robust.

B.

large; whopping.

C. Handsome, kind, gentle, good with kids. Generally is going somewhere in life.
D. Healthy in stature. (But if he is missing a toe or a finger I can look past that)
E. Empathetic
F. (In reference to definition "E") But not a sissy. Must be able to play sports with my brothers and cousins.
G. Must pass in an interview with father. (Please note that so called "interview" will not be formal or set up in any way. It takes place the moment the father figure sets eyes upon you)

Things that help with the Father interview:

1. Degree or current enrollment at the following Universities:

• A: BYU
• B: Brigham Young University
• C: BYU
• D: BYUI (But two years at any of the three previous schools mentioned would help)
• E: BYU Hawaii (Only if you are of Hawaiian/Samoan background and intend to play one of the following sports: Football. In which case you should be playing at University A, B or C... so that one is really on a case by case basis.

2. Eagle Scout

3. Took part in more than two extra curricular activities in High School.
(Note: Student Government gets you bonus points.)

4. Currently has a job

5. Served a Full time Mission

6. Is a BYU fan (If also a Braves Fan father may unintentionally favor you more)

7. Pays for his own schooling/car/phone/fiances etc. (Why? Because my dad did. And he likes it like that)

8. Must love me unconditionally. (But refrain from excessive P.D.A {Public Display of Affection} in front of the Parentals)

9. Can play Scrabble. And not just play... but really play.

10. Knows how to play Rook or is willing to learn and play often. After a six month period trial of learning must be able to play somewhat well or everything will be called off.

11. Is good at directions. (My father knows me well and knows that I am lacking in this area significantly)

12. Must be willing to invest in various projects that my father see's fit (but usually he would end up on top on this one because my father is GENIUS)

Please note: These are only things that would help with the father interview. I, however, am not that picky... so please don't be afraid to set me up on dates. You can submit up to 3 men per person. Thank you. I look forward to hearing from everyone.

Sincerely,
Candy Anderson